Style: Helles Lager. It's bright.
Bottle: 22 oz. I like big format bottles.
Why Did I Buy This Beer? Mostly because it's named "Fock" and that is funny because I am immature. Partly because I felt like a good German-style helles beer.
If This Beer Were a Celebrity, It Would Be: Heidi Klum, and not just because it's a German-style beer. This beer is bright and cheery and intoxicating, sort of like Mrs. Seal. I would make love to this beer.
Is This Beer Badass? Fuck and yes. The label has some sort of skeleton Poseidon with wings, big Moby Dick whales, old wooden ships (Diversity!), a bird of prey, and hops. My god, this is the greatest beer label ever. Just a huge orgy of awesome. It tastes pretty damn good too.
Initial Taste Note: This beer reminds me of draft Spaten lager, only more awesome. Sometimes Spaten tastes like hay. Not that I've eaten hay, but it tastes like what I imagine hay tastes like. Maybe it tastes like what hay smells like. Anyway, Gorch Fock does not taste like that. It's literally a perfectly balanced beer for the style- surprising amount of hop flavor, but a lot of malt sweetness. If I were a wine nerd, I'd say that Gorch Fock has notes of sunshine, apple seeds, and supermodel tears. You'd agree with me because wine drinkers taste anything that you tell them they should taste.
Secondary Taste Note: As I top off my second glass (remember, big bottle), it hits me that this is what German lagers are supposed to taste like. My Gorch Fock came from about 36 miles away. My last Spaten came from about 4,500 miles away. My Gorch Fock is inherently fresher. It's a good representation of the style to begin with, but it was probably brewed within a month or two of my consumption. It reminds me of drinking beer in Germany, and that is never a bad thing.
Fun Fact About This Beer That I Learned Via a Simple Google Search: Santa Claus has his own helles beer.
Tertiary Taste Note: None. Bottle gone. Damnit. I want another. Focking good beer.
The "Experts" Speak: http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/26/22981. Screw those guys. By their collective ratings, this beer is damn near average. This beer is far from average. Stupid subjectivity.
More on Three Floyds: http://www.threefloyds.com/
Rating: I'd definitely drink this again, and I'd encourage anybody in Three Floyd's distribution area to seek this beer out. I think it appeals to the "fizzy yellow liquid" drinkers and the beer snobs alike. A great "session beer" despite the price (about $9 for 22 oz. bottle) and format.
damnit justin...you are going to make me do another order with sams wine...that will not be good for my half marathon training!
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